Author Topic: Alas, Oleh  (Read 1421 times)

(RIP) Theodora Paphlagonia

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Alas, Oleh
« on: 20 March, 2014, 10:57:21 PM »
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20-Mar-1314, 21:00:05 -- Oleh Abramovych, Vassal - FURSTEN-BERG died, the role is vacant.

Alas, here lies poor Oleh, surrounded by his castle of cheese, and now fallen. 

Oh, the days in Cold Kiev did not suit his bearded and corpulent self, nor did the mountains of Bavaria suit him much better.  Day after day, I'd see him out yonder, Vassal or no, working the cow fields.  I'd come out from working the forge and I would say, "Oleh, you work hard, but listen!  You should scoopeth thine manure, with the same bucket as used for thine milk!"

But, he'd just laugh it off, and continue on.  Said the Castle cheesing process was top notch.  But, as we have seen time and again, bucket contamination brings even the great to their knees.

Oleh went on, for days, AND DAYS (and days...) suffering from his wasting disease.  His great beard deflated, day in and day out, until it was naught but stubble upon his chin.  He was in his castle bed for days, staring straight up at the ceiling, barely blinking or breathing, like he wasn't even there!  Oh, the travesty.

In his last moments, I was there.  He was a shrunken form of himself.  But he roused some little energy in his dying moments and said, weak, more like a whisper, "cheese..."

So I ordered the servants to bring the finest cheese in the castle, they brought it to me and I laid it in his hands... "Here, it's the finest batch you made Oleh."

His eyes still stared up, un-seeing, or seeing what no mortal is capable of.  He was surprised when he held the cheese, he whispered again, it sounded like dry leaves being swept across barren ground, "it's, oh, it's so light, oh..."

Sadly, I said, "Yes, God transmuted it, remember, he transmuted all the cheese, it was one of the things you wished for"

"Oh, it's so so so light, it's beautiful" And with his dying breath he said, "oh, please, please, don't forget... don't forget squabs... pigeons.....half portions of meat..." and he was gone from this mortal plane.



Oleh was not of the faith, any faith.  In his own, quite famous words, "What the hells the point?" But I will ask Thor Jensen and Ilias Exarchos to say some words for our poor departed brother, may he find some peace his little slice of Swiss heaven.  May narry a Muenster come to bother him, and may he live the Gouda life.

As inheritor of his vast, albeit manure contaminated :( milk supplies.  Bavaria will sell Olehs much loved cheese in the Oberbayvern Market for 8-9 silver as part of his estate sale.  Unfortunately, however, much of Olehs personal wealth was on his body -- of which mysteriously disappeared from this plane of existence.  Despite being there at his death, there was no chance to salvage it...

As such I will ask Thor Jensen to launch a miniature Longboat with a slice of Brie on it in into the Isar River as the symbolic sea burial he deserves.



Kent Spaggiari

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Re: Alas, Oleh
« Reply #1 on: 21 March, 2014, 01:22:22 AM »
Rest in Peace.

(RIP) Thor Jensen

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Re: Alas, Oleh
« Reply #2 on: 21 March, 2014, 06:19:40 AM »
Rest in peace, and may your journey be quick and pleasant.

For we will enjoy your cheese and will always remember Oleh every time we eat cheese and have a glass of milk.

Thor Jensen

Mao Chao

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Re: Alas, Oleh
« Reply #3 on: 21 March, 2014, 08:44:21 AM »
Oleh Abramovych did some useful things for our Principality, he did it with a pure soul.
I share your grief and we grieve together with you. He will always remain in our hearts.

Let the Great Architect of the Universe will take him in arms.

Mao Chao

(RIP) Theodora Paphlagonia

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Re: Alas, Oleh
« Reply #4 on: 21 March, 2014, 04:06:38 PM »
Yes, thank you everyone, and he will be missed.  Thank you for the kind words Thor, I think Oleh had a wild pagan heart buried somewhere under his massive mustache. 

His well written, yet slightly aggressive, posts here on the forum will also be missed.  I imagine Sun is already pining, wondering where he'll ever find someone else similarly snarky yet polite at the same time!